sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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