I bet he comes in French.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
