i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
