There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
