just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
