I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
