After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
