You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
