Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
