I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
