I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just cropdusted the office
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
