that's an acceptable place to lick
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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