yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
