I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I am morally bankrupt
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
