this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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