You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
