I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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