I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let's get the cat blown out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
