What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
