She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
