Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
