your parents love me but you hate me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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