I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sobbing to NWA
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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