"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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