Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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