He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
