She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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