There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
