We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
