thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
