Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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