just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
