the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
