Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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