Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
