i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
