She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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