and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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