Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
