She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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