That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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