mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
