How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize