I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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