I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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