I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
