You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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