They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
