Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I smell like Dick and happiness
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
