Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
