sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
