i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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