that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
