so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
