her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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