Just cropdusted the office
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He passed out mid-signature
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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